Smile, In the Light of Darkness!

PLEASE GO TO THE ABOUT TO SEE WHO WE ARE, AS WELL TO EVENTS ON THE RIGHT TO FIND OUT ALL THE FUN STUFF THAT WE ARE DOING!!   Below is just me rambling and has  nothing to do with what we are all about.     THANKS!!   Cha Cha!!

So how do we to "get over" that fat feeling, or when life has you beaten.

Personally - When I am at rock bottom, I journal. Our mind can make things seem bigger then they are, but when you step back to look at it all, it is bad but not so overwhelming and this too shall pass.  And you can see more clearly steps if needed that should be done, seeing a pattern over your feelings and actions, a conversation between you and God.  (Jake runs, with no music.  He loves running in the woods and he takes time out there, just thinking.  That is his God time.  We are all different.)   I like to write.

We are programed early on, on what to say or not say..  From our social circles and families we are taught how to speak.  Don't get me wrong, editing our speech is a great tool and we should not just blurb out stuff without thought .  People, even those who love you,  may not "get you" leaving you feeling even more alone or not understood. And that negative feeling will creep in and take away God moments.

Katie was taught to journal early on and still journals to this day. When journaling you can say anything and read it back and realize how you really feel.   I found one back in my days of single mom life , and I read it.  I found stuff about me,  her confusion over all my boyfriends and how she hates meeting them.   She was very concerned about us being poor and  that we may not be ok.   I thought wow -...   The truth is not that fun sometimes but it is the truth.  And we can't candy coat it.  There was good stuff too in the journal.   We are not perfect but it doesn't make it right or wrong - just is.

 Katie had every right to journal that, and her feelings were real.   It would do no good to tell me cause quite frankly , I had no idea what I was doing, and living on a shoe string.  But still I was doing the best I could.   I knew too in my heart,  I wasn't that bad, just wasn't text book good. (Katie says now she loves her childhood. just fyi)   Katie was honest to my face, but I could not fix her or us.  Our life is what it is. and mostly great.

With character and strength come faith and hope through love.  And there is always something to love, even when you are way down.  As long as you choose love, it seems life always gets better.  Doesn't mean your choices will be so lovable....

The first time I walked into a dance studio - I learned that flexibility and to smile in challenging times was crucial to that business.  You have a plan, but you learn to make adjustments with the all the different students.   Class is still good, just not at all what you thought.  Like life.  Smiling and finding joy with the change is key and can be difficult.  We all have to bend a little and make changes but if you do it all mad it seems as though everyone suffers and you gave all the power to the negativity, instead of embracing the only tiny part that is good. If you focus and find a reason to smile you deflate the issue and soon it will be good again soon.  Not only good, you might find value in the change.   Just like in life.  Sometimes a plan is just a path to   get you to do something else.  But it can be debilitating cause in change life sometimes may not be so clear......Sort of an  Oh dear - now what am I going to do ..........

Like when you come home from a dance convention and you find a note on the bottom of a written out grocery list after 9 years of marriage, saying, "Sorry Tammy this is not working." , and you happen to read out loud with your 12yr old daughter beside you.  I thought, "Oh dear , this was so not my plan today".  Then daughter asks you point blank , "What does that mean?"  There is no time to complain and bitch about the "bad stuff" that might have been handled in your eyes a little better.  We have to know that God has this.   Katie may know that her Mom is crazy and we live life on the edge, but we are not going to be beaten or show fear to this incredible action or give it any value or weight.  We have a choice, to smile and move on cause we are not going to change the situation and understanding it is not valuable either.  Just is.

I looked at Katie as if I know exactly where we are going and replied, "Baby we are going to be Thelma and Louise. Our life is going to be so different!  Door are just going to open up!"  And she said - "really mom."    Yes without a doubt I knew we would be ok so lets start being ok right now.   This was also a good time to start journaling cause I was just talking blindly.  Like when you are blind folded, turned around a couple of times to make you dizzy  and then told to go get the pinata.   You never know when all the candy is going to fall down, even if blindfolded ......you know it will.  But you have to be willing to get out there and hit the damn thing hard.  LOL

I know people spend tons of time being inspired with self help books.  This is really awesome, and great but inspiration has nothing to do with action or actual change.  You have to be willing to make action, see and do life differently.  From these actions we receive inspiration.

The very definition of "inspiration" is  "a divine influence or action on a person believed to qualify him or her to receive and communicate sacred revelation" .   And we can NOT be inspired if we are controlled by an addiction or negative feelings or fear.    Divine actions or influences will be harder to receive if we continue to do negative behavior or use fear to keep us from getting outside the box.

I can remember at a very bad time in my life. My smile was completely gone. (not very often this happens)  My Mom went into the closet and brought me my tennis shoes.   I put on my shoes and ran.  I will never forget that.  Cause there was nothing we could do about this particular bad situation.  Sitting around and brewing over it was making it so much worse.  It was controlling me, I was loosing my ground.  Running got me out, and thinking again.   Action brought inspiration .and hope.

It is important to keep the heart going, even when we feel beat or tired. God must have all of us running for a reason and He needs us to hit the pavement just to get our hearts beating again feel safe to jump off cliffs, not the same one over and over again though.    He needs us in shape for the next adventure.

If you don't act for yourself and do things for yourself no doctor can actually help you. You can choose to smile in the light of darkness or let the darkness rule.    God is all around us doing miraculous things even in the worse of times.   We just have to believe.  This is hard too but no matter what we have to see God in everyone around us.  

There is a great story where this guy was on the top of his house cause water was rising all around him. This man had refused to be rescued from a police car and a boat.  Finally a helicopter came and the man on the roof said to the rescuer, "No thanks.  I am going to wait for God."  The helicopter, like the car and the boat had to leave cause the storm was getting worse and he drowned. This stubborn man meets God in Heaven and asked, " Hey why didn't you come down and save me."  God replied, 'Who do you think sent you the car, boat and helicopter?" Another point of the story is that the police car, boat and helicopter didn't stick around trying to "change" the guy on the roof either.   We can't change people if they do not want to change... even with a really cool helicopter.

So - in closing - go find what works for you.   And remember - action brings inspiration which thing brings change.  If you have a tooth ache you don't just read about it, you do something.   And then you figure out how to keep if from coming back.  Do the best you can.  And when you are unsure about an issue, journal.  It is a great way to monitor your true feelings cause we speak so effortlessly in "BS" that we get so confused.

Understanding, finding acceptance, or gratitude is huge to recovery, but not necessary and sometimes not even feasible. But no matter what we can find something in our lives to love and focus on, and from that - the healing begins.    So -

Go out and dance - and enjoy!.

Have a GREAT Day!!

Tammy